<<< HUMANE::DISK$SCSI:[NOTES$LIBRARY]DIGITAL.NOTE;1 >>> -< The Digital way of working >- ================================================================================ Note 3668.8 CLICHE'D CONVERSATIONS FROM HELL 8 of 39 HANNAH::VOBA 44 lines 2-FEB-1995 19:48 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies 1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED -- We are still pissing in the wind. 2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM -- We just hired three kids fresh out of college. 3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION -- We know who to blame. 4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH -- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech. 5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED -- We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered. 6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE -- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch. 7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING -- We are so surprised that the stupid thing works. 8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED -- The only person who understood the thing quit. 9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS -- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless. 10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT -- Forget it! We have enough problems for now. 11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL -- Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up. 12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING -- We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done. 13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION -- I can't wait to hear this bullshit! 14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS -- Come into my office, I'm lonely. 15. ALL NEW -- Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. 16. RUGGED -- Too damn heavy to lift! 17. LIGHTWEIGHT -- Lighter than RUGGED. 18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -- One finally worked. 19. ENERGY SAVING -- Achieved when the power switch is off. 20. LOW MAINTENANCE -- Impossible to fix if broken.